While the buzz in August is all about back to school, I’m here to tell you that September is even busier for this fam-bam. And it’s about time I verbalized that- for my own well-being. I’m not sure why no one talks about the sneakiness of September, but I’m here to tell you: it’s go time. Busy time. Buckle your seatbelt time.
This time last year I was drowning with all things kids, home, school, work, personal relationships, you name it. And guess what? I smiled. Acted like things were, “amazing,” and DID NOT make it through. Well, I mean, I made it through because I’m here to talk about it. But I didn’t lean into the support and suggestions of family and friends to make things a little easier for Mom. The result? I imploded.
This year, I’m doing things a little different. Things are still super busy. I’m truly living one day at a time. And I’m not necessarily asking for help [because lets face it: Mom is kind of a control freak]. I’m just saying some polite, “no’s,” and phoning a friend when things get out of control. And by things, that just means my feelings.
One thing I’ll never say no to is being the Mom who shows up for games, practices, and events… because activities fuel my passion for being Momma bear.
[I’ll admit it is a little tiring though…].
If there’s one thing recovery has taught me is that no matter how hard I work at staying sober, how much time I put into therapy, or no matter what medication I might take for anxiety, I’m still going to have feelings. In fact, feelings are BIG for Mom- and most of her little ducklings right now.
Joey is struggling with the newness of taking tests [that are GRADED], Tony is well, always my big feeler, and Lily and Michael’s love hate relationship brings out all kinds of feelings most evenings. The good news is we have an open-door policy in my house on feelings. We talk about them, we validate them, and we talk about simple ways to work through them. The kids have seen Mom cry more than I’d like to admit lately. And when they ask why, I just tell them, “I’m feeling lots of things right now, and this is how my feelings make their way out of my body.”
Feelings aren’t facts. But somedays they really feel like a strong kick in the shins. Feelings won’t kill us, even if Joey thinks a social studies test is going to be his cause of death….
Anyhow, hats off to all the moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, sitters, etc. who are trudging through September. I hope you find solace in knowing I’m right there with you. And that October might be just as busy- but we can get through this together.
And because I promised a viola update in the last coffee talk post, here’s my guy just doing his thing last Saturday night: